Why the Summer Sucks

My baby left me Friday night.

And Friday night was supposed to be a night of celebration.

My middle daughter, who has had an amazing, stellar year, graduated from High School.

She won several scholarships and awards.  She had written a play this year that her school had performed!  She had recently been named the 1st place national winner of an electronic music composition contest and her name was on the marquee in front of her high school congratulating her, right on Wantagh Avenue (that's big around here!).

And, yes, of course I'm thrilled for her, but the joy was literally sucked right out of me when, 10 minutes after we got out of that school, we were invaded by their Suzuki and their presence and all that it represented.

I endured them.  I endured being around them, and watching my baby be happy to see them and watching my baby's things getting packed into their Suzuki and talking to him and listening to him and looking at him and remembering things about him and the very, very worst thing.

I endured watching my baby drive away with them.

He promised she'd call and he promised she'd skype.  But the point remains.  I am not going to see my baby for most of the summer.

Her room will be empty and the house will be quiet.  I will be home alone just about every day.

My mother thinks this will be easy for me.  Yeah, a picnic, Ma.

If I were sending her off to camp, I'd be concerned for her, but happy.

This, well, this is different.

Things I just can't say...too much to say.

She's going to be so far away for so long.  I don't know how she really is doing.

Maybe he doesn't care about that the rest of the year, but I care about that during the summer.

I just wasn't ready yet to say goodbye to her.

I don't know when I would have been.  Maybe after a couple of weeks.  At least a few days.

He has no soul.  None.  Because this was not done so he could see his daughter faster.

This was done for "convenience."

At the expense of my convenience.  And comfort.  And sanity.

I guess I should try to take advantage of the quiet.

And celebrate what I have to celebrate.  I will, but still...

The summer will still suck, again, because of him.